ready freddie?

"OK! No seriously this time!"

Obviously I can say that every time I decide I want to stop ignoring my health and start trying to lose weight and get healthy. So I'm not going to say it this time. There are some changes coming up soon here. I start a new job on the 1st and then my schedule will be drasitcally different. I am hoping to still fit in everything I NEED to do, not just focus on one thing, come home from work and be lazy. I will be starting work at 9:30 giving me a good chunk of morning to get started on the right foot every day. I now have time to go swimming with Kathy!! A huge blessing! In fact, my schedule is 8-5 for the last days I am at Palmdale so I was able to start sooner than I thought, even better! When I start at Lancaster, I plan on waking up at 5:15 or so, getting over to the pool, swimming for an hour, coming home, showering, Jesus time + coffee (the best kind of Jesus time), get ready, bike to work, bike home from work. I'm trying to fit curves into this somehwre but it's gonna be tough. But I have to because I pay a bit of money for it every month. what stinks is they close at 7:30. I'll fgiure it out. I may just have to eat dinner at like 8 every night :( But I want to do this so badly! Swimming this morning was really encouraging plus Kathy is a great weight loss partner, she is so motivated and we share a lot of the same struggles. It's easier to fight the fight with someone who understands :D

Swimming is great, it felt so good, but I got a charlie horse a few times. It was lame, I felt like a retard. Plus I couldn't even get through a lap, but now I am determined to!

I'm excited to see progress. I'm determined to see progress. I'm ready.

Sweetness

I haven't been to the gym or the pool in almost 2 weeks and I still lost a pound! Whoo hoo! At least the dieting is helping;). Went to the gym today and could only work out for 30 minutes and the lady was all, that was short...I think it was just fine for not having been in a while...besides I don't always have time to work out for a full hour.

Oh also, remember how I was talking before about how it's not that easy to work out to worship songs well one "accidentally" came on my ipod while on the treadmill and it actually did make it easier because it filled me with peace and focused my mind back on Christ. I like very much:). So I'm back on the uphill road, I'm not sure when I will make back to the pool, my hubbs so graciously said he would go with me a couple days a week but I think I'm still not emotionally ready and I am not excited about waking up at 5am again, I guess I just need to keep praying about it.

I'm still so thankful to God for giving me the strength and the desire to stay on my diet, because of the food I'm cooking it makes it pretty easy the only problem is when I want something quick and filling it is hard to not want fast food.

Suggestions, encouragement, and thanks

So I want to say thank you to all of my friends who have commented or sent me messages when I was so discouraged. I am doing a little better emotionally, God is good. I still haven't got back to the pool or gym but I am keeping to my diet and am doing pretty good keeping track of calories and fat intake. It's small but it's something.

And to answer to your comment Theresa, I figured it would be too long of a comment so I'm blogging it and hopefully it will help more people if I blog it. I know you have a busy work schedule and work around food all day but that's were it should start. Just the smallest changes will help, if you feel like your being too restricted your probably going to cheat. Have a little bit of something that your craving but don't give in to the "I don't feel like it today so I'm going to eat whatever I want, or whatever is in front of me." It's a matter of will power and discipline not time. The only thing that has helped me is God. Plain and simple, if I don't ask him for help and don't lean on his strength, I will not stick to it.

That's where I was having problems, I was not reading my Bible and I was not asking God for help and I did not have the strength on my own to do it. But when I have discipline to get up and read the word and ask God for strength and commit it to him that is the only way I have the ability to dive in. I cannot do it without Him. Because I am slowly finding my way back after all the drama and trying to seek God more I have to lean on him and figure out a new routine. Honestly, I don't even have the money right now for gas to drive to the gym so I am going to start slow again. I walked last night to the park and back and right now that's a good start.

I'm ok with that right now, I think for right now God wants me to focus on my family and what I do have and being thankful for that and learning how to let God in on all the areas of my life, not just weight loss. But I need a balanced life, I need to learn to give over my stress of cleaning the house when I feel like it's too overwhelming to do, I need to learn to lean on God when I feel like I don't have the energy or strength to encourage my husband when business is slow or he feels like he's not doing his job as provider, my job as a wife is to encourage him and prayer for him but without strength from God I have a really hard time with that. I have a problem with diving into one thing and letting other things, very important things fall by the wayside.

Losing weight is extremely important to me, but I need to make sure my relationship with Christ and my family come first. I am so blessed to have friends who support me and want to do this with me. Thank you.

Backwards on a treadmill...

That's what I feel like...I'm having such a hard time getting motivated again. I've pretty much kept on my diet since Monday except last night was my brothers birthday and I splurged big time...but I cannot get to the pool or the gym. I feel like I'm all alone in this again. I don't do well alone. I have lost my swimming partner because of situations that I have no control over. (Please don't ask)It is pretty much impossible for me to swim alone, I get bored and I end up watching the clock the whole time feeling like I'm in high school again waiting for the bell to ring...not good.

And for some reason I just have no desire to go to the gym...I'm pretty down in the dumps and seem to have 0 energy. All I want to do is sleep.

That's all. I'm sorry I don't have any inspiration or encouragement to post, I'm in desperate need of some myself.

Update

The wedding I wanted to lose weight for was on Saturday. In the last 2 months I have lost 12 lbs and 1 dress size. Yet I'm still discouraged, what more can I do? I am exercising, swimming and dieting...I guess that's good results but someone made a comment to me at the wedding assuming that I've been going slow and steady in my diet and exercise...it was discouraging but I know that I have been working very hard and being very diligent in what I am doing. Some people just have no idea what it's like to balloon up to a size 18 and have such a hard time losing it. IO don't eat fast food, I don't eat red meat, I don't eat simple carbs, and I don't drink soda. I eat chicken, turkey, veggies, fruit, and drink tons of water...I really don't know what more I can do or what to do to make people stop assuming I'm this size because I'm not trying, because I am!


This weekend I splurged a little, the wedding they had spaghetti and an open bar...oh and you can't forget the cake. But starting tomorrow, I am back to the pool...and the gym...and my extremely rigid diet.

I am proud of myself for having to buy a size 16 dress and not having it be tight and it looking incredibly hot on me. Even if I'm not a size 10 yet I am proud of the progress I have made and I can't wait to see more progress. If I can lose an average of 12 lbs. every 2 months I think I'll do pretty good I will be my goal weight by April 2010. Please pray for me friends, that I do not lose my motivation or my main goal of giving God the glory for my weight loss.

Praise God! I've lost 12lbs!Thank you Jesus for giving me the strength.